"while man has pores, mold has spores. it is one way to tell us apart"

Funny English Errors and Insights: Three-hundred-and-one humorous uses & misuses of written English, compiled by Troy Simpson (National Library of Australia)

this book is far too hilarious to have at work. i have been in hysterics and not doing any dusting.

the book is set out like an old-fashioned reader, with great black-and-white photos throughout.you must all go out and buy it, but i'm sure it's ok if i give you a couple of samples.

english:
"a metaphor is a thing you shout through"

law and government:
"the executor of a will kills the persons who are named therein"

vocabulary:
"nets: holes tied together with string"

miscellaneous:
"a sob is when a feller don't mean to cry and it bursts out all by itself"